wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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