So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
