who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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