Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
