...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
