So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
