what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
