hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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