I need help removing her.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
