He is an equal opportunity slut.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
