I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
