im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
