so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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