It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
