Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
