Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
