just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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