i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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