Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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