Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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