I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
