are you still at the devil's house?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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