I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
