just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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