Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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