its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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