My first STD was from a foam party
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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