help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
