HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
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