sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Its about making memories worth repressing
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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