if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Randomize