I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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