North Korea, Best Korea!
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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