YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize