He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
