Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
