i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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