he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
She told me I should be a condom model.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
