Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
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