Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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