i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
