I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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