ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
