I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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