How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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