Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
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