Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
His hands were made for my vagina.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
