p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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