During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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