Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Randomize
