I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Randomize
