No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize