ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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