We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
